My First Poetry Reading

(1) The Re-birth of the Forbidden Word

There is no logical explanation

why I'm still here for you.

I still feel the same way,

and my heart cries for pain

every time my brain stops it

from pouring emotions.

There is no single day

that I forget to remember you.

You are very much alive;

the inspiration, the dedication,

and the loyalty flow out like

gush of blood and stream of sweat.

There is no doubting

reality; truth liberates;

waiting is forever;

but what can I do?

I have loved you,

without counting how many times.

(2) A Sky Poem

You are a culmination of my wholeness.

You are the key to the door to sanctifying happiness—

to an untouched world, where I can fly along

with you freely,

sing with you,

move according to the music of the voices

that create colorful lines of light in the midnight sky,

making real love.

You are what I have been waiting for,

dreaming of,

praying for.

You are a dream in reality,

for I can see you clearly,

but I cannot touch you—

to let you sense how my soul

transforms in trance by seeing

your wholeness.

And of all existences, passions, humans, dreams,

there are no such other things like you.

What appears is

you.

(3) Holey

I failed to make you see the things that

I thought would make you see.

I failed to get my message across—

that you are the best thinker I have ever met,

for you can think of me and the rest of your galaxies all at the same time.

I failed to speak with you, because every time there was a chance,

that small, elusive chance was like a tadpole that keeps on

slipping my fingers infinitely and getting lost in the dust.

It jumps back to my fingers and slips again to swim in the dust.

You are changing, morphing, turning into something existential—

something between the positive and negative poles,

for you are nowhere to be found.

I could not find that potion that regenerates a heart,

now holey, unnoticeably pierced by your furtive sword.

The heart you can easily slip from, like a tadpole

jumping through a flying circus ring.

The heart you can go back into, and add more holes.

It shall heal, the tadpole will become a frog

and forget that holey heart.

You are just in my holey heart.

I failed to tell you there are no holes.

There is only you.

(4) Phone Poem*

As much as I want to keep all I feel for you inside my tiny heart, it all the more tries to escape;

there is war.

Perhaps you and I will never understand, how we could have ever met in this universe, in this queer time.

As much as I want to forget the first time I saw you, your existence haunts me;

it peeps through my dream.

Those eyes, brows, and your bare head--are what I see, even when I close my eyes for a moment.

As much as I want to stay away from you, my feet are resisting.

The rest of my body are agreeing.

My hands can't stop writing these fatuous words.

I don't know you; you don't know me.

I am happy knowing the uncertainty.

But when I'm with you, I am just awkward.

My feet want to sprint out of your door.

*GN

(5) Above all things I have

If it were not for you,

all that clogs my system would have been immovable.

Now,

I can see the peeping edges of everything that I have taken inside me.

Those strands and mushes overpower the acid of my existence.

But your existence overpowers this mixture of things that turns into every meaningful, divine step—

to reach you,

and to be with you.

These things mean less than what you are to me.

(6) Your eyes

say it all.

You may not notice,

but they speak more than

what your lips tell me.

They launch unspoken

words that only my heart understands.

If only I could take those eyes home.

If only I could stand by you.

If only.

If only things were different.

I'm going home without those eyes,

but I know they are watching me over,

until I see those eyes again,

even my heart shall remain unrequited.

Until your eyes and my heart meet

at the end of our roads.

There is no turning back now; I will see your eyes there.

And the smile that I long for the most.

(7) New Message

Love knows no time;

it knows no boundaries.

It only knows you,

for without you,

there is no love.

Love is a word;

and you speak it.

(8) I long to see

those serene eyes that put me in a trance;

like a berserk sorcerer.

those serene eyes that put me at a halt;

with the time frozen

and the world at a momentary pause.

(9) Renaissance

I am not who I am today,

if it were not because of you.

I almost have lost interest in you--

but your existence watches me.

I transformed to a man, full of ambivalence:

I except to your whims, your world.

I glide on the clouds of doubt,

but you are my sky of truth.

All I have to do now is understand

how I ever have met you, and how

I ever want to stay away from you.

But we are opposite poles of the magnet.

I am in vogue, for you.

(10) Sunday

I felt your wrath--in those serene eyes.

I felt the hail storm come down my heart.

I felt the handcuffs clutch

from your hand to mine;

they could not be broken,

when we separated ways.

(11) After it all

There was a little time for myself.

There was a space between my mind and heart.

There was you.

I listened to the music

my ears longed to hear—

the notes that were unheard of,

the rhythm that could not be expressed

by mortals, like me.

And so I was a human;

a creature, who fought,

who lost, who dag his own misery.

And so I was a human;

whose heart beat faster and faster

when opportunity

knocked at the door of a mansion

with a maze to get to the archer

that aimed and hit this heart,

with blood gushing and words unrecited.

(12) I wish that I wish

I was dreaming that I was dreaming about you.

with you beside me­­—

giving me the best ice cream in the world.

I was dreaming that I was chasing after a child—

and when I had finally gotten to this child, the child grew up

so fast, turning to someone

who was you.

I shared with the child the creamy cone you had given me.

I was wishing that I could wish to be

with the person

who had me with one tap at the back

a smile

and those beautiful eyes and

calming voice—

nothing else but beauty.

and golden heart.

I wish that I wish I see you from above,

from an eagle's view;

and I attack with my claws

those that hurt you.

Your worries.

Your taxing hours.

Your headaches and pains and flus.

But I am just a dust in the universe.

(13) Derailed

I shiver.

Your words flashed

memories of you and I

emblazoned on the

train station—

feet scurrying to the exit

that I hope

I can find

now.

(14) I guess

we are not destined to be together

in a well-lit room, full of ashes

and drowned by alcohol.

I guess we are not destined to be together

in the midnight sky

our stars belong to irreconcilable

constellations.

I guess we are better off

as dried leaves

drawn away by the twin falls.

But who knows, perhaps

those leaves will meet again

in the sewage of elusive

coincidence.

(15) I wrote this for you

What was important for me was to see you.

And see you happy.

What was essential for me was to be with you.

And smell your existence.

What was ecstatic for me was to see you.

And hear your voice.

Your eyes magnetized my eyes.

Three seconds was like eternity.

I don't know what was on your mind.

You don't know how you invaded my mind.

I get so weak hearing you say my name.

And talking to me.

But that day was special for me.

It was my present to myself:

To see your masterpiece

and to replenish this empty heart

with your breathing, your voice.

It's when you're near I don't feel

a stranger in the night.

(16) Our Hollows

I was in deep slumber when you were not around.

I was dreaming of your arrival at my drunken place.

I had a cone of ice cream that did not melt.

You had me at one tap at the back.

You had me believed that you were my savior.

You were a seed growing inside my body.

We have never really met at all.

We are worlds apart.

We have been looking at each other:

with the universe between us.

(17) Re-Visit to the Ivory Shanty

Along the wayward, unsung heroes

We, again, crash on crystal life

full of gray sand

gray sand

tool.

From where we started

we come back

to the everlasting

pun and twists of

living the ironies of

death and resurrection.

Where the gray sand

is the priest, and black and white

do not meet or

nothing at all.

Go under your bed

and under your bed

is an invisible truth

That is--you.

(18) Post-College Syndrome

I have been writing and appreciating poetry since my primary school days. I wrote almost anytime, anywhere. Some of it I have lost; some still with me. Now the following "disturbed" poem was the product of a post-college syndrome, which lingers up to today. This is "intertextual," so language majors say, and I can say, perhaps, very complex and raw:

I Have Sinned

A

mongrel

in the night

whoo-whooing–

man of culture, su-

percalifragilisticexpiali-

docious. He triggers the gun-

blade among the children of desti-

ny/advent children. Akin to faith he asks

the saint of labor why he is nowhere. Tonight,

the mongrel grasps the Beatles. Twelve Midnight.

He holds tight. Upright. Diamond tears in the chamber

react to ammos. World War. The Holy Mongrels:

the hollow men are his comrades. Legalese &

hotel. Partner. And, eureka. He meets The

One. Salvaged from Evanescence. Al-

low me to zell smile. His Guardian

Forces rejoice. The English Ma-

jor is The Lionheart--needs

sharpening. No more Dark

Matter & Black Materia.

Devour Ultimecia

For me. Miss

X

Mea Culpa

(19) It was not so long ago

Come to the places where we rode your bicycle

And we both fell to a puddle of mud splashing earth in your face

It was not so long ago.

Come to the bridge where we started to think about your beautiful day

when your teacher said you have got the world in your hands

It was not so long ago.

Come to the train station where we were talking about breaking someone’s skull

and wondering what was inside it

It was not so long ago.

Come to the top of the hill where we flew our kites

that were entangled when the wind blew so hard

It was not so long ago.

Come back to the earth where our feet were coated with dung and mud —

When we did not care how we stank and stepping on the floors our mothers industriously swabbed.

But I cannot come to the time when we said goodbye on one violet afternoon, you flew away like our kites.

I am afraid the wind cut your string I was holding.

Then someone called me to do the dishes.

(20) Disclosure

Little by little

Each second collapses

Like trappings removed

One by one

From the present.

Thinking, judging each

Possible outcome

Assuming, expecting failure

Thinking devours feeling

My face looks for cover

And my body locks

itself in an unknown universe.

And the gift remains in the now,

Waiting to be opened.

(21) I am

Filipino.

And I don’t know why.

Well, I was born

in a country where

citizens are foreigners,

who claim they are F’lips.

Where many a people

are struggling, hoping,

wishing, imagining,

fantasizing to be like

a foreign land.

Where families are so tight

that their relatives are their

ultimate rivals.

Where people make rules

and become rulers.

Where the poor cry for

justice and the rich

cry for tax exemption.

Where I see that

its future is great

because its people

are great. We

are great,

I am.

(22) Tell me

I don’t know,

I have no idea,

I am clueless.

I have no control,

But there is an invisible

force that controls me.

You don’t have to tell me.

I know me.

(23) Pov-Urbani-ty

It is a world between

Smoke belchers and

Body odors.

In between shoulders

There is massive strength

Interlocking, avoiding space ––

Inhaling each other’s air.

Massive sharing of colorful smells.

Each one pops like corn

In massive heat, when

the pot cover is lifted.

Another wave of sardines is coming.

(24) Cheese

What else?

Cheers.

Sex.

Chicken.

Eh.

Or nothing at all.

Swarm of bee whores

Approach it

Hover it

But never touching it

The lenses are indeed celebrity.

(25) Where is it coming from?

Power and spirit mark the greatness within.

They rise in the ranks of a muddy crowd,

stinky rubbish, cracks and debris.

They forever bleed, for in their blood

courage and truth thrive, giving them

endless hope and endless sky.

Pride and honor are what they breathe

Deep into their souls, they roam,

amplified by enormous strength of faith.

They eat evenings, soaked in death

They die every hour, they moan and cry

They die for one, for all, for himself.

In order that others may live,

Because they are one––Ubuntu.

They are worthy, they are love.

(26) Block

the writer, is trapped

in the mental process,

in the walls of uncertainty.

Nothing follows.

(27) Squirt

My fingers are transforming

To uncontrollable muscles.

Their excitement surmounts

That of a husband waiting for

His first born.

It is protruding from its thin skirt

And one touch it can go

Far away as a baseball home run.

Or it can never be found.

One look at it makes the owner

Stride back and forth the powder room,

the rest room, his own room, her mirror.

Their fingers don’t worry cleanliness.

Like a hungry cat, he will jab at it,

And feel it, and pops it like a balloon.

Its offspring flows, flies,

the owner wants to catch it.

Ahhh emptiness feels good.

(28) Spotlight

I feel you, then my eyes follow

a beautiful creature, like a fallen angel.

I smell you, my energy seems like

consuming me, and becomes higher

And higher until it reaches another

plane of energy, so focused.

My eyes see only you.

Your every move feels like magic.

I surrender to your existence.

It’s like an ice pop.

When you go away,

There’s another day.

(29) Kites, Keys, Krinkles*

One, school. In a jar. The only cookie, looks like one.

But it was tender, so tender. It melted down my throat.

Two, lunch. At an eatery. Generosity. My pseudo-aunt

placed on my palm that cookie look-alike. Still tender, so tender.

Three, internet. On the book of faces. I ate your timeline.

Thunders went down my spine. That cookie is a mystery.

You are the solution.

By chance.

*Krinkles intended

(30) Fill my cup

I am inside you.

I have never written anything for months;

my fingers are frozen.

My hands were soaked in the fondue of overflowing sand.

My mind was in your impenetrable cocoon.

My heart was trapped somewhere between your lungs.

You know I always come back.

You know I want to change nothing.

There is nothing better than feeling freedom with you.

No forevers can change it.

(31) Getting there

is not easy.

I have to wear all these

realities, and disrobe them

while traversing

the road of inconsistency,

uncertainty.

But one thing is certain—

I'm getting near

you.

(32) Heart of Coal

This heart knows no pain—it knows no sorrow.

For there is a blade pierced through this heart

that only you can withdraw.

We are swallowing epiphany.

(33) I Breathe You*

You are the only other half that makes me whole.

.....

It is true, it is what my heart is saying.

You are my air.

The love I have found in you is a life

that throbs all through my veins and skin.

.....

.....

I breathe you, like water for trees,

music for the soul, honey for bees.

Nothing could compare how

your love has transformed me.

I was crippled and now I can walk.

I was blind and you made me see.

I was dumb and now I am bright.

It was you who made me well.

You taught me how to love.

And now I know how to love,

this love should only be with

one human being.

It was you,

and is you,

until He takes this life away.

*RE

(34) Illuminate

the heart that is wrapped by

dark clouds and locked by

your blinding lightning.

Illuminate

the heart that is clutched to

your gloomy heart ensconced

in the seat of your happiness.

Illuminate

this heart—

fierce but full of fear—

that your heart owns.

(35) You are my sky

for I always look up to you,

and you look after me.

You have never changed a thing.

You have given me more reason

to feel the warmth of your endearment.

You have crushed all my worries;

you have never thought ill of me.

You are killing me—

with those ceaseless cares and wits.

I have never thought you could be like this,

hanging on the cliff of my whims.

I have never foreseen how special I could be—

I was blinded and my judgment was clouded,

with all of you.

What could I ask for, when all I have is you.

(36) New Message

Love knows no time;

it knows no boundaries.

It only knows you,

for without you,

there is no love.

Love is a word;

and you speak it.

HAIKUS (sinulat sa taxi)

(37) Maneho, pula

Dilaw, luntian mula

sa Kapasigan.

(38) Edsa shaw, trapik

Puwit sa puwit, saltik

Wag kang pipitik.

(39) Sabi ng puso

Umuwi ka na baby

Lipad na taxi

(40) Bakit ang ilaw

maliwanag kung gabi

Laki ng kita.

The Re-birth of the Forbidden Word

There is no logical explanation

why I'm still here for you.

I still feel the same way,

and my heart cries for pain

every time my brain stops it

from pouring emotions.

There is no single day

that I forget to remember you.

You are very much alive;

the inspiration, the dedication,

and the loyalty flow out like

gush of blood and stream of sweat.

There is no doubting

reality; truth liberates;

waiting is forever;

but what can I do?

I have LOVEd you,

without counting how many times.

Kites, Keys, Krinkles

One, school. In a jar. The only cookie, looks like one.
But it was tender, so tender. It melted down my throat.

Two, lunch. At an eatery. Generosity. My pseudo-aunt
placed on my palm that cookie look-alike. Still tender, so tender.

Three, internet. On the book of faces. I ate your timeline.
Thunders went down my spine. That cookie is a mystery.

You are the solution.

By chance.

***

*Krinkles intended

I couldn't steal it.

A Sky Poem

Making love in the sky.

You are a culmination of my wholeness.

You are the key to the door to sanctifying happiness—
to an untouched world, where I can fly along
with you freely,
sing with you,
move according to the music of the voices
that create colorful lines of light in the midnight sky,
making real love.

You are what I have been waiting for,
dreaming of,
praying for.

You are a dream in reality,
for I can see you clearly,
but I cannot touch you—
to let you sense how my soul
transforms in trance by seeing
your wholeness.

And of all existences, passions, humans, dreams,
there are no such other things like you.
What appears is
you.

Holey

Three words.

I failed to make you see the things that 

I thought would make you see the best in you.

I failed to get my message across—
that you are the best thinker I have ever met,
for you can think of me and the rest of your galaxies all at the same time.

I failed to speak with you, because every time there was a chance,
that small, elusive chance was like a tadpole that keeps on
slipping my fingers infinitely and getting lost in the dust.
It jumps back to my fingers and slips again to swim in the dust.

You are changing, morphing, turning into something existential—
something between the positive and negative poles,
for you are nowhere to be found.

I could not find that potion that regenerates a heart,
now holey, unnoticeably pierced by your furtive sword.
The heart you can easily slip from, like a tadpole
jumping through a flying circus ring.

The heart you can go back into, and add more holes.

It shall heal, the tadpole will become a frog
and forget that holey heart.
You are just in my holey heart.

I failed to tell you there are no holes.
There is only you.

Phone Poem

As much as I want to keep all I feel for you inside my tiny heart, it all the more tries to escape;
there is war.

Perhaps you and I will never understand, how we could have ever met in this universe, in this queer time.

As much as I want to forget the first time I saw you, your existence haunts me;
it peeps through my dream.

Those eyes, brows, and your bare head--are what I see, even when I close my eyes for a moment.

As much as I want to stay away from you, my feet are resisting.

The rest of my body are agreeing.

My hands can't stop writing these fatuous words.

I don't know you; you don't know me.
I am happy knowing the uncertainty.

But when I'm with you, I am just awkward.
My feet want to sprint out of your door.

***

GN, 12-3-12

Twenty Questions by Juan Ekis

This is the Palanca Award winning play by Juan Ekis. It won the 2nd place in the one-act category year 2003.

TWENTY QUESTIONS
Ni Juan Ekis

MGA TAUHAN

Jigs - Fresh grad. Kabarkada ni Yumi.Magtatrabaho bilang
researcher sa isang financial firm

Yumi - Commercial Model. Kabarkada ni Jigs. 2 years ahead
kay Jigs.

TAGPO

Gabi. Sa isang kwarto ng isang beach resort.

Naglalatag ng kumot si Jigs sa sahig habang inaayos
ni Yumi ang kanyang higaan.

YUMI Sige na, Jigs. Huwag ka nang magpaka-gentle man.
Naaawa ako sa? yo e.
Tabi na tayo sa kama.

JIGS Hindi, okay lang ako dito.

YUMI Huwag ka nang maarte. As if naman re-rapin kita no.
Malaki naman itong kama e.

Hatiin na lang natin sa gitna.

JIGS Sure ka?

YUMI Hindi mo naman siguro ako mamanyakin no?

JIGS (Matatawa) Okay ka lang?

YUMI Kung gusto mo, gamitin na lang natin iyang kumot
na divider.

JIGS Good idea.

Isasampay nila ang kumot mula sa kisame para mahati
ang kama sa gitna. Magsesettle down ang dalawa.
Ilalabas ni Jigs ang libro niya:
"Puppy Love and other Stories" ni F. Sionil Jose.

Si Yumi naman ay magpapatugtog ng Japanese Zen Music
habang nagsa-zazen.

YUMI Do you mind?

JIGS No, go ahead. I‘m just reading.

Magsa-zazen si Yumi. Magbabasa si Jigs. Pareho silang
di maka-concentrate. Papatayin ni Yumi ang CD player niya.

YUMI I can‘t believe our friends.

JIGS Oo nga e.

YUMI Dapat ginagawa nila ?to sa mga bagong pasok sa barkada
o kaya sa bagong…ay oo nga pala. Bagong graduate ka.
Congrats.

JIGS Thanks.

YUMI So what‘re your plans?

JIGS Kinukuha akong researcher sa ADB. Kinukuha rin ako ng
BPI sa OTP nila.

YUMI Wow naman. In demand.

JIGS Di naman masyado. Who the hell invented this tradition
anyway?

YUMI (Matatawa) You won‘t believe it.

JIGS Ikaw?

YUMI Malay ko ba na mabibiktima rin ako nito balang-araw.

JIGS So why did you start it?

YUMI Wala ka pa sa tropa nun e. Freshman ka pa lang siguro noon.
Wala lang. Napagtripan lang namin si Ronald. E may crush siya
kay Meg. Noong unang beses magpunta rito ng barkada, sabi ko,
magsimula kami ng tradition.

Ilo-lottery namin ang pangalan ng mga lalaki at ng mga babae.
Kung sino ang mabubunot, silang dalawa ang pagsasamahin
sa isang kwarto sa loob ng tatlong araw. And then, we‘ll all
see what happens.

Pero dinaya namin noon yung kay Ronald at Meg. Puro Ronald at
Meg ang mga pangalan na nakalagay sa lottery.

JIGS (Tatawa) Ang sama ninyo!

YUMI Kaya nga nakarma na ako e.

JIGS So is our case, dinaya? O talagang lottery?

YUMI (Teasing) Ano sa dalawa ang gusto mo?

JIGS Feeling ko may nagtrip sa‘kin sa barkada e.

YUMI Excuse me po, dalawa tayong biktima dito. I don‘t see
any reason kung bakit tayong dalawa ang sasadyaing biktima
this year, unless may crush ka sa‘kin na di ko alam at alam
nila (tatawa).

JIGS Baka ikaw (tatawa).

YUMI The success rate of this tradition is 100% so far.

JIGS I was here na the 2nd time. Si Chris at si Cia ang
biktima.

YUMI And last year were Rod and Kay. They‘re getting married
kailan?

Sa June yata.

JIGS What do you expect? Ikukulong mo ang isang lalaki at
isang babae sa isang kwarto for three days, imposibleng
walang mangyari doon!

YUMI That was exactly my point. (Ngingiti)

JIGS E kung may madisgrasya?

YUMI Ano‘ng disgrasya?

JIGS Alam mo na ?yun!

Hahawiin ni Yumi ang divider nilang kumot.

YUMI Ano? Sex? Pa? no kung magsex sila? Nakakatawa ka
naman. Di mo masabi.

JIGS Ang alin?

YUMI Ang sex!

JIGS Hah!

YUMI Sige nga sabihin mo nga?

JIGS Para kang *****. Tumigil ka nga.

YUMI ****, Jigs. Graduate ka na totoy ka pa rin!

JIGS Excuse me?

YUMI Sabihin mo nga: ? Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex!?

JIGS Para kang bata, Yumi ha.

YUMI You used to call me ate Yumi when you were in third
year.

JIGS Well, graduate na po ako, ate Yumi.

Tahimik.

JIGS Hmmm. I wonder if we‘re gonna last three days.

YUMI (Teasing) Bakit? Ayaw mo sa‘kin?

Di sasagot si Jigs.

YUMI We‘re gonna survive this one.

JIGS What makes you so sure?

YUMI No offense, Jigs. I honestly find you very attractive
pero I‘ve no time for this. Alam mo naman siguro na kaka‘

JIGS Same here.

YUMI Same here what? Na you find me attractive o you don‘t
have time for this? (Matatawa)

Di sasagot si Jigs. Tahimik. Io-on ulit ni Yumi ang
CD player at ipagpapatuloy ang zazen. Itatabi ni
Jigs ang libro. Nawalan na siya ng ganang magbasa.
Pupunta siya sa ref. Bubuksan niya ito.

JIGS Hah! (Sarcastic) Perfect! Red Wine! How very conducive.

YUMI May chips ba diyan?

JIGS Sa awa ng Diyos, may tsibog naman.

Papatayin ni Yumi ang CD player. Tatayo siya at kukuha
ng chips sa ibabaw ng ref.

YUMI Since we‘re gonna be stuck naman with each other for three
days, might as well make the best out of it di ba? I-enjoy na
lang natin.

JIGS What do you mean?

YUMI Get the wine, let’s have a drink! 50 hours to go na lang
and we‘re gonna be the first failure of this tradition.

JIGS Oo nga. (Kukunin ang wine. Maglalagay sa dalawang baso.)

When they chose Cia and Chris, naiintindihan ko pa e. Lalo
na sina Rod and Kay. Kung baga, tinulungan lang natin
silang umamin sa isa‘t isa. Pero us…

YUMI Weird ng barkada natin no?

JIGS To our barkada and our weird traditions!

YUMI To us, the first failure of this tradition!

Magto-toast sila at iinom.

JIGS Sige, ate Yumi. Let’s make our stay here more interesting…

YUMI What’s with the ate?

JIGS Fine…

Bubuksan ni Yumi ang chips. Uupo sila pareho sa sahig para
magkwentuhan.

JIGS Let’s play twenty questions.

YUMI Sige! Ano yon?

JIGS Each of us will have ten questions each. Tatanungin kita,
tatanungin mo ako, mga gusto nating malaman sa isa‘t isa. Alternate
tayo. Pero the thing here is, you can‘t ask the question that I
already asked.

YUMI That’s pretty interesting.

JIGS At bawal magsinungaling.

YUMI Fair enough. Pero whatever is said inside this room remains in
the room. Ok?

JIGS Of course. You wanna start?

YUMI No. I want to ask the last question. (Ngingiti at kikindatan si
Jigs)

JIGS Smart move. Game. First question: Ano ang greatest frustration mo
sa buhay?

YUMI Nge. Ang korni naman ng tanong mo. Walang ka-challenge-challenge.
Ask me something na mag-iisip naman ako.

JIGS Simula pa lang e.

YUMI Sige. Ano nga ba…?

JIGS Akala ko ba walang ka-challenge-challenge?

YUMI Wag kang maingay, nag-iisip ako…I‘m a frustrated ballet dancer.

JIGS Talaga?

YUMI I took lessons when I was six pero umayaw ako. Wala kasi akong
disiplina e. Mas gusto kong makipaglaro sa mga kalaro ko. Pero
I really enjoy watching ballet dancers. When I see them dance
parati kong kaiisip na sana, ako rin. There! Ang dali naman ng
tanong mo. Walang thrill.

JIGS Appetizer lang. Yari ka sa‘kin mamaya.

YUMI We‘ll see. Ako naman: Did you ever have doubts about your
sexuality? I mean, kahit minsan ba, naisip mo na bakla
ka?

JIGS Never.

YUMI Bilis ng sagot a.

JIGS Coz I never entertained the idea.

YUMI Homophobe ka ba?

JIGS Alternate tayo sa tanungan, di ba?

YUMI So, not once? Kahit konti? Kahit what if lang?

JIGS I‘m straight, okay?

YUMI I‘m not asking if you‘re gay or not. I‘m asking
kung…

JIGS Never nga.

YUMI We all thought na you were gay. Well at least nung
first few months mo sa tropa before you introduced your
girlfriend to us.

JIGS What?! You thought I was gay?!

YUMI E pa? no kasi, masyado kang mabait. Ang pogi-pogi
mo, pero parang allergic ka sa mga babae. Over ang pagiging
gentleman mo. Too good to be true. You have a good body,
it seems that you work out pero iniisip namin front mo
lang yun. Kadalasan kasi front ng mga bakla ang pagiging
maganda ng katawan nila at pagiging sporty…

Tatawa lang si Jigs.

YUMI So we thought it’s either that or you were planning to
become a priest.

JIGS What?!

YUMI Well, you were always this goody-goody person. Pumupunta
ka sa chapel. Nangungumpisal, nagsisimba…

JIGS The way you said it, parang equivalent ang dalawa a.

YUMI Of course not. I didn‘t mean that!

JIGS I take my faith seriously. That doesn‘t make me gay!

YUMI So you did want to become a priest…

JIGS Hindi rin. Actually, I always wanted to raise a family…
and be a father.

Tahimik.

YUMI So you‘re not gay.

JIGS No.

YUMI You never…

JIGS Ilang beses ka ba ipinanganak? Kulit mo e. It’s
my turn.

YUMI Homophobe ka no?

JIGS Hindi kaya!

YUMI Whatever…

JIGS Ako na, daya mo naman e.

YUMI Okay, okay. Shoot me.

JIGS How do you see yourself five years from now?

YUMI You expect to win this game? Ang kokorni ng mga
tanong mo e.

JIGS The object of this game is not to win.

YUMI E ano pa ba?

JIGS To get to know the other person.

YUMI Sure. Basta ako, I will win this game. Walang thrill
ang isang game kung walang nananalo.

JIGS Sagot.

YUMI May time limit ba ?to? (Tatawa) Wine pa nga.

JIGS Sabi nga nila: in vino veritas.

Magsasalin si Jigs ng wine.

YUMI Masarap ang wine, ha? Saan kaya nabili ito? (Iinom)
To answer your question, either maging entrepreneur ako,
magsisimula ako ng sarili ako nangg botique or bar, o kaya,
magiging artista ako sa pelikula.

JIGS Not bad.

YUMI Pero mukhang malabo yung stint ko sa movies. Tough ang
competition e. Saka mahina ang manager ko. Panay hosting at
pictorials ang nakukuhang raket para sa akin. Papalitan ko
na nga e. Pag nakaipon ako, baka magtayo na lang ako ng
botique.

JIGS (Magbibiro) Ayaw mo mag-bold?

YUMI Yuck!

JIGS Lahat ng gustong mag-artista doon
dumadaan.

YUMI May talent naman ako kahit papano a!

JIGS Lahat naman ng bold star may talent a! Sa dibdib!
(Tatawa)

YUMI (Hahampasin ng unan si Jigs) Bastos ka talaga!
Akala ko goody-goody ka…Hindi ko papatulan ang
pagbobold kahit ano‘ng mangyari no! Kahit ganito ako,
may respeto pa rin naman ako sa sarili ko.

JIGS Ganito? Ano? ng ganito?

Di sasagutin ni Yumi ang tanong.
YUMI These producers think all the people want is sex,
sex, sex! Kaya puro basura ang mga pelikula e. Wine
pa nga!

JIGS (Magsasalin ng wine) Bakit naman botique?

YUMI Hoy madaya ka na ha? Hindi pa ako lasing. Ako
na‘ng magtatanong. Ang korni mo namang magtanong.
Bigatan naman natin nang konti…Inom ka muna.

Iinom si Jigs. Magsasalin siya ng bago.

YUMI Who was your first crush in the barkada?

Tahimik.

YUMI Haha! Bingo ka no? Bagal mo naman sumagot.

Iinumin ang wine. Magsasalin ng bago.

JIGS Lalaki o babae?

Tatawa sila pareho.

YUMI Dapat may time limit ito e.
Tahimik.

JIGS Hirap naman ng tanong mo.

YUMI Iyon nga ang maganda e. Para may thrill. As if naman
ibo-broadcast ko sa barkada kung sino.

JIGS Wine pa?

YUMI Di mo pa sinasagot yung tanong ko, nagtatanong ka na!

Magsasalin ng wine si Jigs kay Yumi.

JIGS Yung crush ko kasi…siyempre, sino pa ba? E di yung
pinakamaganda sa barkada.

YUMI Nge. Subjective yon no! Para sa‘kin ang pinakagwapo
si Joel. Sa babae, si Kay. Para kay Ronald, si Meg…

JIGS Yung literally na may dating‘walang tanung-tanong.
Yung kahit sino? ng tanungin mo sa tropa, objectively,
siya ang isasagot.

YUMI Jigs, twenty questions ang game natin. Hindi guessing
game. C‘mon man. Play your own game. Pa‘no na kung truth
or dare to e di pahirapan na.

Dadalawa na nga lang tayo e.

JIGS Yung commercial model.

Matitigilan si Yumi.

YUMI Wine pa nga.

Magsasalin si Jigs. Mag-iisip si Yumi. Iinom.
Biglang matatawa.

YUMI (Tumatawa pa rin) Talaga?

JIGS Sige, pagtawanan ba?

YUMI You can say it to my face, I won‘t bite. Bakit hirap
na hirap kang sabihin kung sino? Takot kang ma-reject?
Parang tanong lang e…Wine pa nga!

JIGS Okay, 1 point ka na…

YUMI (Ngiti) Gee…thanks. Flattered naman ako. At kailan
naman nangyari ito?

JIGS Sorry, my turn to ask. (Ngingiti) Who is your crush
in the barkada…NOW?

YUMI E ginaya mo lang yung tanong ko e.

JIGS Hinde no. May qualifier ako. Ang sabi ko, NOW. Ang
tanong mo, first crush ko.

YUMI Korni pa rin. Alam mo, kung basketball ‘to, tambak
ka na.

JIGS Just answer the question.

YUMI Siyempre wala. I told you, I don‘t have time for
these stuff. Kakabreak ko lang di ba?

JIGS Korni mo namang sumagot.

YUMI E korni yung tanong e. Pero kung talagang-talagang
kailangan kong sumagot…hmmm…teka…sino nga ba?
Sino ba‘ng crush material sa barkada?

Wala akong maisip e. Ikaw na lang.

JIGS Yung seryoso naman.

YUMI Seryoso ako. Ayaw mo yata e. Sige, iba na lang…

JIGS E napipilitan ka lang e.

YUMI Uy! Pa‘no ba ‘yan? MU na tayo? Crush mo ko, crush
kita…yiheee

(Tatawa).

JIGS Dati pa ‘yon no!

YUMI Ay? Di mo na ko crush? Bakit, na turn-off ka? Ano
namang ginawa ko?
Tsk. Tsk.

JIGS Is that your question na?

YUMI Oy, hinde! Ito naman…di ba pwedeng mag-follow-up?

Iinom ng wine si Jigs.

YUMI Fine. Here’s a little juicy question:
Describe your first kiss.

JIGS That’s not even a question.

YUMI Arte mo. O: How was your first kiss like?

Matatawa si Jigs.

JIGS Wet.

YUMI Yuck!

Magtatawanan sila.

JIGS Alam mo, aksidente yung first kiss ko. Close kasi
kami nung isa kong kaibigan. Pag naggu-goodbye ako sa
kanya, parati ko siyang kini-kiss sa noo.

E one time, sa gym habang nagpapahinga, nakaupo siya
sa sahig. Tinatamad siyang tumayo. So bumaba ako
nang konti para halikan siya sa noo kasi pauwi na ako.
E siya naman, para maabot ko, medyo tumingala. E sakto,
sa lips ko siya nahalikan. Pareho kaming nagulat.

Pero di pa kami naghiwalay agad. Weird nga ang
feeling e. Parang may glue. Ayaw na namin maghiwalay
pareho…

Tawa pa rin si Yumi

YUMI Awww. Ang sweet naman. Parang sa pelikula. Si
Krissy ba to?

JIGS Hindi. Hindi mo siya kilala.

YUMI So what happened? Nagkatuluyan kayo?

JIGS Nope.

YUMI Ha?

JIGS Ewan ko ba. Complicated kasi yung situation namin
e. May boyfriend siya noon. Ako naman, takot pa sa
isang relationship. Pero at least, na-discover namin
na pareho pala kaming may gusto sa isa‘t isa. Pero
hanggang doon na lang.

YUMI What happened after?

JIGS We talked about it. We both decided na it wont work.
Tapos, bigla na lang, hindi na kami nagkikita. And then,
I met you guys, iba na ang barkada ko.

YUMI Nakakatuwa naman.

JIGS Ikaw, pa? no yung first kiss mo?

YUMI Ikaw ang nagturo sa akin ng game na ito di ba? Bakit
ba lagi mong bini-break ang rules? Di mo na pwedeng
tanungin ‘yan!

JIGS Tine-testing ko lang kung lasing ka na. (Iinom
ng wine) Okay, naka-warm-up na ako: What was the
naughtiest thing you ever did?

YUMI ‘Yan ang mga tanong! Ano ba‘ng ibig mong sabihin
ng naughty?

JIGS Bahala kang mag-define.

YUMI Hmmm…marami e…(matatawa) baka maeskandalo ka.

JIGS Kanina ayaw mo ng korni. Ngayong medyo exciting
naman…

YUMI Eto na…I had two boyfriends at the same time.

JIGS (Nagulat) Hala.

YUMI I was with Joel and Zach at the same time.

JIGS Yikes. Alam ba ni Joel?

YUMI Kaya nga kami naghiwalay nun e. Nahuli ako
(matatawa).

JIGS Ano namang pumasok sa kukote mo‘t ginawa mo
‘yon, aber?

YUMI Nag-eexperiment lang ako. E sa type ko sila
pareho e. Ano‘ng magagawa ko? Saka para may thrill.
Alam mo ‘yon? Yung patago kang nakikipag-date sa
isa para di mahuli. Everyday pa akong nakakalibre,
kasi, alternate sila!

(Tatawa) Akala n‘yo kayo lang mga lalaki ang pwedeng
gumawa no‘n?

JIGS How can you love two guys at the same time?

YUMI Who said something about love? Walang kinalaman
ang love dun. I was…having fun!

JIGS Nainlove ka na ba, ever?

YUMI Nakakailang tanong ka na? It’s my turn.

JIGS Don‘t you want to answer the question anyway?

YUMI My turn!

JIGS Kulang ka pa sa wine. (Tatawa)

Ubos na ang unang wine bottle. Kukuha si Jigs
ng isa pa sa ref.

JIGS Ang bilis nating uminom a.

YUMI Are you still a virgin?

JIGS Whoa! Where did that come from?

YUMI That’s my fourth question.

JIGS (Magsasalin ng wine sa mga baso). Ano sa tingin mo?

Ngingiti si Jigs. Tititigan lang siya ni Yumi.

YUMI Don‘t tell me, wala pang nangyayari sa inyo ni
Krissy hanggang ngayon? Ilang taon na ba kayo?

JIGS Mag-tu-two years na sana next week.

YUMI So virgin ka pa? I don‘t believe it!

JIGS Mukha ba akong *********?

YUMI Mukha kang nagpapaiyak ng babae e.

JIGS Insulto ba ‘yon?

YUMI Compliment ‘yon, *****.

JIGS Ah, okay. Thanks.

YUMI Pero, you mean, you never felt the urge to do it?

JIGS Alin? Sex?

YUMI Wow! Nasabi rin niya!

JIGS Of course I always feel it. Natural lang ‘yon sa
tao no? Nasa iyo na lang ‘yan kung ano? ng gagawin mo
sa urge na ‘yon.

YUMI E natural naman pala e. Bakit mo pinipigilan? I mean,
pag naiihi ka, iihi ka. Pag nagugutom ka, kakain ka.
Pareho lang ‘yon, di ba?

JIGS Pag naiihi ka, iihi ka dahil kailangan mong umihi.
At hindi ka iihi kahit saan. Pupunta ka sa banyo. Pag
nagugutom ka, kakain ka dahil kailangan. At hindi mo
kinakain ang lahat ng pagkain na ihain sa iyo.
Pag di ka gutom, di ka kakain. Pag di mo gusto yung pagkain,
di mo gagalawin. Ang aso, pag may nakitang pagkain
diyan, walang tanung-tanong. Lalamon ‘yan.

YUMI And sex is the same?

JIGS Lahat ng bagay, nilalagay sa lugar. May context. At
least, yun ang nagpaiba sa atin sa aso.

YUMI Grabe ka namang magsalita. Para mo na ring sinabing
lahat ng nakikipagsex, aso ah!

JIGS Sinasabi ko lang, pag wala sa tamang konteksto,
mali.

YUMI And what is that context?

JIGS Matanda na tayo. Ayokong maging preachy. Alam na
natin yan.

Tahimik.

JIGS Kaso, kahit alam na natin, minsan di pa rin natin
ginagawa.

Tahimik.

JIGS Masarap e. Sino ba? ng ayaw nun?

Tahimik.

YUMI (Medyo nairita) So feeling mo santo ka at dapat
kang i-congratulate for being a virgin!

JIGS Sinasabi ko lang ang pinaniniwalaan ko. Ineexplain
ko lang kung bakit di ko ginagawa. May kanya-kanya
tayong dahilan. Di ko pinipilit kahit kanino ang mga
paniniwala ko…No need to get so cross about it,

Yumi.

Tahimik.

JIGS It’s not about being a virgin or not. It’s about
putting things into their proper places.

YUMI I‘m not arguing with you.

JIGS Me neither. I‘m just answering your questions.

Matagal na katahimikan.

Ngingiti si Jigs.

Titignan niya si Yumi na medyo nairita sa nakaraang
train of conversation nila. Magsasalin siya ng wine
para kay Yumi.

JIGS Nasobrahan ka na yata sa wine e. (Tatawa) You still
wanna go on with the game? Nine pa lang tayo, eleven more
to go. (Ngingiti)

YUMI Shoot me.

JIGS Who was your first lay?

YUMI (Hahampasin ng unan si Jigs) Ang bastos mo talaga! So
ina-assume mo na hindi na ako virgin?

JIGS E sabi mo kasi, walang thrill ang game pag walang
nananalo e. So I guess I‘m winning. Saka wala naman
akong inimply na ganun a! I‘m just hitting two birds with
one stone. Kasi kung virgin ka, e di simple lang ang sagot:
wala. Kung hindi naman, e di sino?

YUMI Ang daya mo.

JIGS Akala ko ba ayaw mo ng korning tanong.

YUMI You think I‘ll answer that after giving your sermon,
Father Jigs?

JIGS Ano ka ba? Inexplain ko lang yung personal reasons ko.
Kung ano man ang sa iyo, I‘ll respect them as well as I
know you respect mine. I‘m no saint. I‘m just trying to
get to know you better. (Ngingiti)

YUMI How do you do that?

JIGS Alin?

YUMI I should have walked out on you kanina pa pero the way
you say things…parang bumabaliktad sa ‘yo…makes you
more…charming. Kung ibang tao ka siguro, di na kita
kakausapin.

JIGS You can‘t walk out. We‘re locked here for three days
except for meals.

YUMI So I‘m forced to like you para di masira ang vacation
ko.(Ngingiti)

JIGS You don‘t have to answer my question if you don‘t
want.

YUMI I guess I‘ll be honest with you as you were honest
with me…

Tahimik. Iinom ng wine si Yumi.

YUMI Di mo siya kilala. His name was Robert. He was my
first boyfriend. It was Senior Prom Night. Alam mo
na…typical senior prom story. Everyone wants to lose it
on prom night. Everyone thinks na pag prom night, it
was something special. We went out sa hall nang maaga. We
made out sa kotse niya. One thing led to the other.
Tapos, yun…yun na. We went back just in time for the
awarding of the prom queen.

Guess what, I won pa.
(Mahinang tawa)

JIGS What was it like?

YUMI Now that I look back, it isn‘t as special as I thought
it was. Pero it was different then. Back then, we were just
led by our passions. Alam mo yon? Andun ka na. Hormones
raging wild. Passions and Ideals are confused.

Akala mo love, yun pala, curious ka lang pala. Akala mo
yun na yon. Akala mo you are in-love at lahat ng gawin
mo tama. Lahat ng gawin mo perfect.

Everything was magical…well, almost.

JIGS Almost…?

YUMI Sa next question mo na ‘yan. Ako na.

JIGS (Pabiro) Wine pa? Kulang ka pa yata e.

YUMI Nilalasing mo ko no? May balak ka sa? kin no?
(Tatawa)

JIGS Is that your question? Sasagutin ko na.
(Tatawa)

YUMI Engot. Hindi ‘yon. Here’s something na curious
lang ako. Kasi I‘ve been hearing things…saka you‘ve
hinted on it na rin kanina…Are you still with Krissy?

JIGS Hindi na.

YUMI Since when?

JIGS Two, maybe three weeks ago?

YUMI Sino‘ng nakipag-break?

JIGS Pareho kami.

YUMI Why?

JIGS Maraming dahilan, actually. Naisip na lang namin na
it won‘t work. Isa na do‘n, magkaiba kami ng gustong
mangyari sa buhay. Magkaiba kami ng mga pinaniniwalaan.

YUMI Like what?

JIGS Marami.

YUMI At ngayon mo lang nalaman iyon after two years
with her?

JIGS People change, Yumi.

Tahimik.

JIGS Right before graduation, she asked me to move in
with her.

YUMI Talaga?

JIGS Sabi niya, doon na naman din daw papunta ang relasyon
namin. Might as well practice na raw for the real thing.
Tutal, she’s working na naman,ako naman bagong graduate,
we should try out na raw living together if it‘ll work
for us.

YUMI Natakot ka sa arrangement?

JIGS Hindi naman sa natakot. If you love someone, ano
pa‘ng ikakatakot mo, di ba?

YUMI E bakit umayaw ka?

JIGS It’s just that, It’s not my thing.

YUMI Sabi na nga ba e, bakla ka no? Sinasayang mo ang
opportunities!
(Matatawa)

JIGS Hindi ako oportunista. At lalong hindi ako bakla.

YUMI Fine.

JIGS Naisip ko lang na hindi pa pala ako handa sa mga
ganitong bagay. Wala pa sa isip ko ang gano‘n. Na-shock
siguro ako sa reality na iyon na nga ang next step
sa relationship namin. I mean, two years of being
together and knowing each other, we‘re practically
ready to get married, if you know what I mean. Pero I
realized, I‘m not ready for any of these. Narealize
ko how immature I am. Na iba yung ideals ko two years
ago sa ideals ko ngayon.

I need to mature some more to get into this thing I mean,
getting married. Diyos ko, ilang taon lang ba ako…

YUMI Maturity has nothing to do with age.

JIGS But it has a lot to do with time.

Tahimik.

JIGS So I thought, bakit kailangan ng practice mode? Ibig
sabihin, pag sumablay kami, split na kami? Live like a
couple minus the commitment?

Pa‘no pag nawala na yung magic? Goodbye na?

Iinom ng wine si Jigs.

JIGS Kung kasal na, kasal na. Wala nang practice. I think
that’s the real cowardice. Yung i-try muna natin kung
it will work kasi takot kayo na baka hindi maging
successful ang outcome. Saan na napunta ang excitement
ng buhay? Kaya nga kayo in-love, para sabay kayong humarap
sa totoong buhay, sa hirap at ginahawa, di ba? (Matatawa)
Hindi yung pagpapraktisan muna ninyo para siguradong ginhawa
lang.

Magkikibit-balikat lang si Jigs.

YUMI Are you always like that?

JIGS Like what?

YUMI So cerebral in everything. Kahit pagdating sa
relationships.

JIGS Life is too precious para lang daanin sa trial and
error.

Ngingiti si Jigs. Tahimik.

YUMI So, No hard feelings?

JIGS Friends pa rin kami. She still calls me up nga sa
bahay e.

YUMI That’s nice.

JIGS Kayo, bakit kayo nagbreak ni Carlo?

YUMI That’s your sixth na ha?

JIGS Sure.

YUMI Alam mo, ironic para sa akin yung break-up namin
ni Carlo. And the funny thing was, it was about…sex.
Uy, sa atin lang ito ha?

JIGS Of course.

YUMI Kasi nga, I was looking for that magic nga di ba?
I wanted to be in a relationship na special naman. So
of all the boyfriends I had, sa kanya lang ako walang
sexual relationship. As in nag-aabstain talaga ako.
Kasi parang naisip ko, para magkaroon naman ng meaning
yung “making love” di ba? Parang, dapat di mo parating
ginagawa, at ginagawa mo lang when you are sincere with
yourself and with your partner.

So I was investing muna emotionally. And I was actually
starting to care about him. Yung, hindi ko na iniisip
yung sarili ko. Yung siya lang ang inaalala ko. Akala
ko perfect na…

JIGS Ano‘ng nangyari?

YUMI Patunayan ko raw na mahal ko siya. Magbigay daw ako
ng proof. Pagbigyan ko raw siya. Sabi ko sa kanya,
hindi pa ba sapat na proof ‘yon? Na I‘m saving myself
for that right moment, that special moment between
us? Alam mo‘ng ginawa? Nilayasan ako!

JIGS You deserve someone better.

YUMI Talaga!

YUMI Isipin mo, kung kelan naman I grew tired of
meaningless sex, when I‘m looking for the real thing,
saka naman mawawala. Ang ironic ng
buhay no?

JIGS That’s the way we must learn.

YUMI Alam mo, kung tutuusin, never ko pang na-experience
yung tunay na mag make-love. And I had to go all through
those relationships para lang ma-realize yun. At least,
ngayon, alam ko na ang hinahanap ko.

Iinom ng wine.

YUMI Ikaw ba, importante sa ‘yo na virgin ang
mapapangasawa mo? How do you see virginity ba?

JIGS Alam mo, di ko pa napag-isipan ‘yan. Pero now
that you‘ve mentioned it…It doesn‘t matter kung
virgin ang mapangasawa ko o hindi. Of course I
value virginity a lot. I treat it as the only real
gift I could give to my wife to be. Imaginin mo na
lang di ba, kung wife ko ang una ko.

It’s like the perfect wedding gift I could give to her.
Pero kung siya hindi na virgin, I wouldn‘t care. As
long as mahal ko siya. Kasi I don‘t expect her to give
me the same gift. I don‘t do something because I expect
people to do the same to me. Ibigay niya sa akin ang
sarili niya nang buong-buo, sapat na sa akin ‘yon.
Masaya na ako sa ganoon.

YUMI (Mapapangiti si Yumi.) You know, that’s the nicest
thing I ever heard from a guy. That’s why I always
enjoy talking to you. You always say the nicest things.

JIGS Wow. Salamat. E ikaw, is making love to you equal
to love?

YUMI I always took sex and love as opposite ideas. I
mean, after the first time na…you know…sa Senior
prom. Kasi afterwards, we broke up na ni Robert. Tapos
naisip ko, yun na ba yung love? Baka hindi love yung
naramdaman ko. Baka napagkamalan ko lang siyang love.
I was just after the pleasure of intimacy. And then
I felt empty. So empty. That’s why I wanted to change.
I wanted to believe in “making love.” And I‘m still
looking for it.

Yung magic. Yung feeling mo, tao ka pala. I never felt
that kahit isang beses. Men have penetrated my body
but never my soul. And I wanted that. I wanted someone
to touch my soul. To “make love” to my soul through
my body. Pero siguro, naging numb na ‘ko sa dami ng
relasyong pinagdaanan ko. Hindi ko alam kung mararanasan
ko pa iyon. That’s why I envy you.

Tahimik.

YUMI Sa tingin mo may pag-asa pa ako?

JIGS You still have your soul…(Ngingiti)

Tahimik.

YUMI With whom would you want to experience it?

JIGS Of course, sa asawa ko.

YUMI I mean, someone in particular. Take it as my
seventh question. So give a name.

JIGS A name? Hindi ko alam. Basta kung sino ang magiging
asawa ko.

Tahimik. Magkikibit-balikat si Yumi.
Iinom ng wine.

JIGS Well, I always thought na it was Krissy. And then,
it was just gone. Of course I loved her. And I still
do. Pero the magic was just gone after we both found out
na magkaiba kami ng mga prinsipyo sa buhay.

Tahimik.

JIGS My turn?

YUMI Shoot me.

JIGS Tell me something…a secret. Yung wala kahit isang
nakakaalam.

Matagal na katahimikan.

JIGS You trust me naman di ba?

YUMI Well, you‘ve earned it, alright.

JIGS Saka wala akong tinatago sa ‘yo. Sinagot ko lahat
ng tanong mo as honestly as I could. (Ngingiti)

YUMI I uhm…

JIGS Yes…?

YUMI I need more wine.

Magsasalin si Jigs ng wine.

JIGS Take your time. We have less than fifty hours to
go.

Iinom ng wine si Yumi.

YUMI I‘ll tell you something no one in the world knows
except one other person. And that person probably forgot
all about me already.

JIGS (Pabiro) What? You had sex with a stranger?

YUMI Ano ka ba?

JIGS Biro lang. Seryoso na.

YUMI Promise ha? Hindi ito lalabas.

JIGS Promise.

YUMI If this goes out, I will hunt you kahit sa libingan
mo. Huhukayin kita at papatayin kita ulit.

JIGS Mamatay man ako ngayon.

YUMI Okay…(Pause) I…I was with Joel then… (Magiging
mas seryoso ang tono niya) …and Zach. I wasn‘t really
with Zach, I was just going out with him pag wala si Joel,
alam mo na…making out and stuff…Well, anyway, I was
kinda serious din naman with Joel that time. Joel and I
were…you know…doing it. And…

JIGS And…?

YUMI Uhm…I…uhm…I got pregnant.

JIGS What?

Tahimik. Iinom ng wine si Yumi.

YUMI I uhm…shit. Hindi ko naman talaga ginusto e. Uhm…
Two months akong delayed…then I took that test. I found
out na buntis nga ako…and Joel found out about Zach
(maluha-luha na) and I didn‘t know what to say, you
know? Maniniwala ba naman sa akin si Joel na naaliw
lang ako kay Zach? Na I didn‘t really love him? Na wala
lang iyon? And so he broke up with me and…I..uhm…
I was afraid and uhm…

(Magsisimula siyang magbreak-down)

JIGS It’s okay…

YUMI I uhm…hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko, Joel left
me. I wanted to tell him about the baby to make him
come back but I don‘t think he‘d believe me after the
thing with Zach…and…my parents are gonna kill
me if…shit. (iiyak)

JIGS (lalapit kay Yumi para i-console ito)
Ssshhh…you don‘t have to tell me this if it upsets you…

YUMI And so I went to a clinic…(hahagulgol) I didn‘t
mean to, Jiggs. I wasn‘t myself then. And I felt so afraid.
So alone…

JIGS Tahan na. Ssshhh…

Iiyak lang si Yumi kay Jigs. Yayakapin ni Jigs si
Yumi.

JIGS Alam ba ‘to ni Joel?

YUMI How can I tell him? The only other person na nakakaalam
ay yung duktor sa clinic. God…(iiyak) Oh God…

JIGS It’s alright…

Hihimasin ni Jigs ang likod ni Yumi. Patatahanin
niya ito. Matagal silang nakaganito lang. Matagal
na katahimikan.

YUMI Can you get me my yosi?

Tatayo si Jigs. Pupunta sa may side table sa tabi ng
kama. Kukunin ang yosi ni Yumi. Magsisindi siya ng isa
at iaabot kay Yumi.

YUMI Thanks…

Matagal na katahimikan.

YUMI If we were…if we were the last two people on earth,
would you consider doing it with me?

JIGS Doing what?

YUMI Alam mo na…

JIGS Alin? (Teasing ngingiti)

YUMI **** mo. (Ngingiti)

JIGS Ngumiti rin.

YUMI So? Would you?

JIGS Alin nga? Di mo masabi no? Bakit di mo masabi? (Pagtatawanan
si Yumi) Sabihin mo nga: Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex!

YUMI Shut up nga!

JIGS That’s your eight na, ha?

YUMI I lost count. Answer it.

JIGS Why not?

Hihithit ng yosi si Yumi. Tahimik. Sasandal si Yumi
sa balikat ni Jigs.

JIGS If you could be something else, what would you be?

YUMI I dunno…maybe a violin…yeah. Violin siguro.

JIGS Bakit?

YUMI I always saw the relationship of a violin and its
player as very intimate. Pag tumutugtog ang violinist,
ang nakikita ko at naririnig ko, he strokes the soul of
the instrument and the instrument penetrates the soul of
the player. Para silang nagmi-make love. Di ba? Very sexy,
very intimate, very sublime. Di ba? Pareho silang sincere
sa isa‘t isa.

Dahil kung hindi sila sincere, walang music na mabubuo. The
violin surrenders her body to her player, her whole body and
her whole soul, in full trust and sincerity. Di ba, compared
to the sound of the other instruments, ang tunog ng violin
parang isang naked woman? A naked woman in surrender? I want
to be a violin. I want to be stroked in the soul. I want
to make sincere music. I want to experience the sound of love.

Tahimik.

JIGS Lalim nun ah. (Ngingiti)

YUMI Pa‘no mo malalamang in-love ka na?

JIGS Paano? I don‘t think there’s a formula to that.
Basta malalaman mo na lang. I mean, ilang beses lang ba
nangyari sa akin ‘yon? I‘d like to believe na yun na nga
‘yon…yung kay Krissy…

YUMI Kwento mo nga…paano mo narealize dati na mahal mo
nga si Krissy?

JIGS Alam mo nakakatawa…korni actually. Babalik na
naman ako sa pagiging korni nito e. Di ba ayaw mo
sa korni.

YUMI Sige na. Hindi na kita aasarin.

JIGS I heard bells.

YUMI Ano?

JIGS Seryoso. Bigla na lang, habang nag-uusap kami, may
narinig na lang akong bells, tapos music. Ewan ko kung
iniimagine ko lang ‘yon pero yun ang nangyari. Nakakatawa
nga e. Parang kanta ng Beatles.

YUMI Seryoso ka ba?

JIGS O baka naman nagkataon noong oras na yon, may
nagkakantahan sa kung saan sa school. Basta may narinig
akong bells. Tapos napangiti ako.

Pagtingin ko sa mata niya, iba na ang nakikita ko. Hindi ko
na siya nakita as kabarkada lang. Biglang parang may magic.
Hindi ko ma-explain. Baduy pero ganun. Tapos I just seized
the moment. Umamin ako. A week later, kami na.

YUMI Korni nga. (Matatawa)

JIGS Korni talagang pakinggan. Pero pag nandun ka na. Pag
naranasan mo na, feeling mo, hindi na korni.

Ngingiti si Yumi. Tahimik.

YUMI Alam mo, may times na parang tunog violin ang boses mo.
O lasing lang ako?

Tahimik.

JIGS I‘m into my last question.

Iaangat ni Yumi ang ulo niya.

YUMI Shoot me. Better make it good.

JIGS If you were again to be the next victim of this
tradition, if you were to be locked up in this room again…
who would you want the next guy to be?

YUMI (Mag-iisip) I want someone whom I could talk to…
Yung makukwentuhan ko ng mga sikreto ko. Yung may sense
makipag-usap. Yung may laman. The violin player who‘d
stroke my strings…not even. Yung mapapatunog niya
ang strings ko without even touching them. (Tahimik)
Lumuluwag na ang dila ko…kung anu-ano na ang nasasabi
ko. (Ngingiti)

Tititigan lang ni Jigs si Yumi. Tahimik.

YUMI Siyempre yung masarap kausap.

Tahimik. Hindi makatingin si Yumi.

YUMI Yung kahit habambuhay wala kaming gawin kundi mag-usap…
I think It’s better than making love.

Mapapatingin si Yumi kay Jigs.

YUMI Gosh I want to kiss you so badly.

Matitigilan siya.

YUMI I can‘t believe I just said that.

Tahimik. Titignan niya ulit si Jigs.

YUMI don‘t you want to kiss me?

Pause. Titignan siya ni Jigs sa mata.

JIGS Is that your last question? (Ngingiti si
Jigs)

YUMI Yes.

DILIM.